Last message

That last text.

It frightens me.

Especially if it came from him,

Him who will never come back,

Him who wrote me that last text,

Him who I love forever and ever

An original story under Park RyeoNa

Featuring Lee SungMin of Super Junior and Choi SooYoung of So Nyuh Shi Dae

Copyright © Park RyeoNa 2009

Chapter 1

Last message
Choi SooYoung’s perspective
“Just come to the bridge SooYoung.” I played his mechanic voice over and over again. Somehow it was not his tone, not his usual cheerful, full of life vocal at least. He e-mailed me this recorder minutes ago and I have been playing it ever since. It does not sound right somehow, almost weird for him to say such things in a meaningless tone. It sounded like he forced the words out from his lips. It was straightforward but too subtle to sound like an order and yet, when he said my name, there was a hint of trust. I then glanced at my digital clock; he should have arrived at the meeting place by now. Since I do not want to make him wait, I stood up and walked away from the desk. I better put a jacket; it has been freezing recently, reports say it was going to snow. However not only the weather made me shuddered, a bad feeling crept up when I locked the door. It was slithering cold, climbing on my spine; it made me trembled. I hope it does not involve anything to do with SungMin. The bridge, SungMin mentioned in the tape, was the road bridge just next to my apartment. There, it has a sidewalk where most teenagers would walk or ride their bicycles. In fact, it also has benches where people could sit and enjoy the view. Both SungMin and I usually spend time there enjoying the fresh breeze, the soft whooshing and the smell of the river. Listening to the fast flowing water beneath our feet always soothed our minds, despite the car traffic every afternoon. It was our favorite place to just talk. Talk endlessly, unaware to our surrounding as we laughed together. Enjoying each other’s existence.

“SungMin.” I whispered when I spotted him leaning over to watch the rushing fluid underneath him. I noticed his forehead had lines; he looked like he was thinking with his eyebrows so close to one another. I gulped and forced my legs to move on toward him. He looked up when I called his name once more. I smiled at him as a greeting but instead of smiling back, he just showed an emotionless face; it made me withdrew my own smile. Moreover I could not read anything from his expression. It was a perfect poker face. His eyes gave the impression of dead as well. The bad feeling grew stronger and it seemed to multiply rapidly.

“SooYoung, glad you came.” His voice was the same as the recorder earlier. It was flat, the same hollow pitch, almost like a robot uttering words it does not understand in a computerized tone. His appearance, I noted, were not the typical. His crimson highlighted hair was out of order; the same goes for his clothes. He looked like he did not change his clothes for days; they were wrinkled and dusted. The once black brown eyes looked dark and exhausted; he also looked like a panda with fading dark circles around his eyes. His lips were dry and paler than normal. His porcelain skin showed to be whiter than bones. In truth, he looked thinner than the last time I saw him. He looked so worn-out, I felt very unhappy somehow. Once he was sure he got my full attention, his dry mouth opened up but closed shortly afterward. The words he was going to speak hesitated to voice out. He seemed jumpy as well as if he was afraid. Finally he blurred the words out. “SooYoung, I’m moving.”

“Where?” I asked absentmindedly, shrugging. SungMin always move from one place to another all over Seoul, so this information was not new to me. However, I wondered why is he acting different. Usually he would tell me his next address and the two of us would just talk here, discussing about our life so far after days of separation. He never acted like this before. Ever since we graduated from Seoul University, SungMin traveled from one apartment to another. His parents do not mind at all with his abnormal decision to move out. Even though he lost loads of friends who thought he still lived in a certain area, but he never lose contact with me. He would always tell me where he is, like I was his mother somehow. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, he would call and tell me the news. I felt somewhat glad that I still be able to see him. That he still want me to be his friend. However, deep down, I felt this is going to be different, very different. SungMin shook his head then and walked circles around me while I watched him. He looked so nervous. This made me worried. “SungMin, what is wrong?”

He looked me right in the eyes then. His eyes were still dark but solid and sparkled in a way. Then like a bomb, he just dropped it. “I’m moving to Japan.” His words left me speechless. I almost choke at the idea. My eyes widen as my jaw fell. Is this the reason for his behavior? He is moving away to another country, away from me, miles absent from my side. I asked him for how long and to my disappointment, my voice shook as I uttered the words. His response was not the one I wanted to hear neither. “I’m not coming back.”

“Why? Don’t you like Seoul?” I tried my best not to show my true emotion either on my face or my voice or my eyes but I know I failed in doing so. I could hear my own vocal crack bit by bit. I tried to read his expression but the poker face remained. His features did not even flinched, his body did the same and he resembled a statue then. The wind blew across his face and that made his hair swayed a bit. Mine did too and it interfered with my vision. I could feel the tears accumulating in my eyes but I blinked countless times to drain them away. It was not the time to cry, not yet anyway. Now I wanted answers, why all of a sudden?

“I got a job there,” he paused. It seemed like he is trying to make me understand his decision to move. The words, I sense, carried meanings of their own. They seemed to hold determination. “And I think it’s time for me to settle down.” His voice was still low and robotic. It was hard to hear him as the wind grew stronger and the smell of water filled my nose. My nose felt warm now. It always felt warm when I’m going to cry. I must hold back the emotion.

“But, what about me? You’re leaving me?” I felt my eyes moisten more and more. I used all the strength in me not to act like a disappointed child but it was another failure attempt. My voice broke every time. Truthfully there is no special relation between SungMin and I. We are just friends. However, the thought of losing him terrify me, it made me shuddered. To me, he may be just a friend but deep down in my heart, I do not want to lose him. I felt SungMin’s warm hands on my shoulders then. Still he stared at my eyes. The image of his concern face right in front of me was a blurred due to the tears. His eyes seemed to change again; they looked so dark and sad. They appeared to tell me to calm down. I blinked my eyes to washed out the tears and my voice did not improved at all when I questioned him yet again. “This is the last time I’m going to see you?”

“Yes.” His voice was finally colored with emotion. It was still low and it sounded depress. Reminded me of my own tone but his vocal appeared to be more secured, like he practiced it before. Not fair, he had prepared for this moment. “My flight will departure tomorrow morning, when you are at work.” I could not say a word then but closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip. I let my head hung low as I bit harder. A traitor tear escaped to my burning cheeks, betraying me. His arms embraced me then and his soft whisperings comforted me. I wanted to say ‘don’t go’ but who am I to stop him? I’m just his friend, nothing else. He kept on whispering unfinished sentences to my ear but I was too cheerless to understand any of his words as a new sudden pain engulfed me. “SooYoung, I… You’re… My heart… The one…” His words just kept on coming into my head in a soft tenor voice. I could not think straight; I was too much in pain. I do not want for him to go. I want him to be here, to be with me, always. “SooYoung.” This time it was not a whisper but more of a calling. He paused, waiting for me to answer him. He gently released me from the hug and looked at my eyes again.

“Yes?” I croaked out. I could not breath properly now. My mind focused on inhaling and exhaling. Slowly, I felt his breath on my lips. My chest began to feel the thumping of my heart. His warm breath was so moist against my face. My breathing did not improved as well. Gradually, he moved closer and his breath was so sweet. Seconds later, his lips captured mine and everything seemed so oblivious. His arms around me supporting me, keeping me warm from the cold breeze of the river, the sound of the background fading into silence and for a second, I thought I just heard his heart beating the same rhythm as mine. I had the urge to place my palm on his heart just to confirm the thumping. Everything just felt so clear. At last when he released me, the two of us were breathing heavily and that made us laughed. Our laugh sounded so pleasant as both of our voices harmonized with one another. My tears had no attention to go away and they just kept on multiplying. So my eyes were still damp as I scanned his blurred face. I wanted to remember his face even though he looked so thin and pale. My mouth was shaking, wanting to tell him something. Something or words that was buried deep in my heart. “Don’t go.” I heard myself whispering, my sobbing decreased. I could say my words more clearly. He shook his head as he cupped my face. His breaths were on my lips again. The sweetness and moisture of his breath made me feel faint. However, it was as if I could read his mind then, that, I know he would not be able to stay in Seoul. He was still determined to leave.

That thought made me cried even more.

He walked me to my apartment afterward and official announced his goodbye. I tried to say something but my sobbing stopped me from pronouncing the words. He did stayed for a bit; to make sure I would be all right. After he left, I cried myself to sleep.
…

“SooYoung, please take table thirteen’s order.” TaeYeon’s voice echoed through my head. As if it was pointless, hollow and I should just forget about it. I stood there with a piece of paper and a pen on each hand, thinking about him. I could not even get off from work to see him depart. I feel so useless as a friend. I could not even afford to skip work. I am really a failure being a friend to him despite his efforts to keep contact with me. Unpredictably, I felt a nudge on my left rib. I blinked and TaeYeon’s face came to sight. She looked displeased. “Yah, didn’t you hear me? Table thirteen please.”

“Right.” I answered in an emotionless voice. I myself could hear the mechanical voice in my own head. TaeYeon unnie showed a weird face as she stared at me. Perhaps my face was distance as well, just like my thoughts. I just could not focus and my mind is always on him. The moments we used to just talk on the bridge, memories how his eyes looked so alive and playful, recollections of his laughter, of his smiles, of his stupid jokes and his warm hands comforting me. Most vivid memory was of course, the kiss. I subconsciously touched my lips and remembered how soft his lips against mine. My cheeks suddenly sensed scorching. It felt so right when he kissed me. I never sense anything like that in my life. It was then I realize; it was my first innocent kiss. My heart began pounding again as the reminiscences rushed in. The sound of an aircraft soaring made me jumped. I was not excepting it. The restaurant is just a few blocks away from the International Airport. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall; it was almost ten and I guessed it was SungMin’s flight. I just realized I did not properly say goodbye to him. The thought pierced into me like sharp arrows on fire. It blistered right into my chest, having no intention to burn out but continued to blaze. It hurt so much.

“Girls! Check out the news!” Tiffany exclaimed as she turned the volume up. All nine of us including the customers turned to stare at the screen. I was not exactly excited but my gaze also moved to the monitor. A pretty woman dressed in a black blazer, sat in front of a large wooden desk with papers before her. She had her hair all tied up in a neat bun, perhaps to show off her pearl necklace that protected her thin neck. Despite her young age, I could see her wrinkles and the heavy makeup did not cease the blackness under her eyes. It must be hard to work for television. Behind her, in the background showed an airplane. I suddenly remembered she was the anchor for the ‘News at Ten’. Silence fell as every eyes glued to the television waiting for the woman to speak.

“Just minutes ago, a person had announced he placed a bomb on one of the airplanes. He actually declared his hatred to the government as he threatened the nearby security guards. From our reliable sources the very aircraft is currently flying to Japan.” Her voice was firm and confident but her words meant something else to me.

‘SungMin…’ His name boomed and echoed through my head over and over like his mechanic voice yesterday, playing non-stop like a recorder. I have been trying not to think of his name since I woke up today. I seemed to have placed his name in a small box deep at the back of my head. However it appeared it was a futile effort. I felt so nostalgic by his name repeating again and again like his tape yesterday but it had a different feeling though; instead of feeling worried, I felt pain slowly, teasingly devouring me. The pain in my chest grew stronger. I felt so unaware to my surrounding as I tried to control my breathing. I also tried to regain calmness by advising myself that it could not be SungMin’s plane. However the woman in the monitor announced each of the passengers’ names.

“Jung HeeYun, Park YooIn, Lee SungMin…” My world shattered into pieces as his name was said. My legs were wobbly and I could not support myself. My head felt light and spinning. My breathing worsened. I closed my eyes, placed a hand on the cold white wall for support and focusing on how to breath.

“SooYoung, your phone is vibrating.” HyoYeon pointed out. That made me opened my eyes and saw her worried face. I saw her mouth opened a bit but closed; she wanted to ask something but decided not to. I’m glad she chose not to because I do not know how to reply. The vibrating object in my pocket indicated I received a message. I slowly took it out; my energy was slowly drained by my emotion. As I opened the electronic letter and my eyes widen at the sender. My heartbeat accelerating, palm sweating and my finger shook as I read the name repeatedly.

It was from SungMin.

“I love you SooYoung.” His message was clear and simple. I smiled in happiness but at the same time, my tears formed as soon as I felt the pain enveloped me once more. It was too late for saying such things but I was happy he managed to confess. Others were too absorbed watching the screen displaying the exploded airplane. I too glanced at the television and punch the keypads. I have a feeling I have to reply his message.

“I love you too.” I clicked send and pried. Even though I know he will never read it.


That last text.

It frightens me.

Especially if it came from him,

Him who will never come back,

Him who wrote me that last text,

Him who I love forever and ever

An original story under Park RyeoNa

Featuring Lee SungMin of Super Junior and Choi SooYoung of So Nyuh Shi Dae

Copyright © Park RyeoNa 2009

Chapter 1

Last message
Choi SooYoung’s perspective
“Just come to the bridge SooYoung.” I played his mechanic voice over and over again. Somehow it was not his tone, not his usual cheerful, full of life vocal at least. He e-mailed me this recorder minutes ago and I have been playing it ever since. It does not sound right somehow, almost weird for him to say such things in a meaningless tone. It sounded like he forced the words out from his lips. It was straightforward but too subtle to sound like an order and yet, when he said my name, there was a hint of trust. I then glanced at my digital clock; he should have arrived at the meeting place by now. Since I do not want to make him wait, I stood up and walked away from the desk. I better put a jacket; it has been freezing recently, reports say it was going to snow. However not only the weather made me shuddered, a bad feeling crept up when I locked the door. It was slithering cold, climbing on my spine; it made me trembled. I hope it does not involve anything to do with SungMin. The bridge, SungMin mentioned in the tape, was the road bridge just next to my apartment. There, it has a sidewalk where most teenagers would walk or ride their bicycles. In fact, it also has benches where people could sit and enjoy the view. Both SungMin and I usually spend time there enjoying the fresh breeze, the soft whooshing and the smell of the river. Listening to the fast flowing water beneath our feet always soothed our minds, despite the car traffic every afternoon. It was our favorite place to just talk. Talk endlessly, unaware to our surrounding as we laughed together. Enjoying each other’s existence.

“SungMin.” I whispered when I spotted him leaning over to watch the rushing fluid underneath him. I noticed his forehead had lines; he looked like he was thinking with his eyebrows so close to one another. I gulped and forced my legs to move on toward him. He looked up when I called his name once more. I smiled at him as a greeting but instead of smiling back, he just showed an emotionless face; it made me withdrew my own smile. Moreover I could not read anything from his expression. It was a perfect poker face. His eyes gave the impression of dead as well. The bad feeling grew stronger and it seemed to multiply rapidly.

“SooYoung, glad you came.” His voice was the same as the recorder earlier. It was flat, the same hollow pitch, almost like a robot uttering words it does not understand in a computerized tone. His appearance, I noted, were not the typical. His crimson highlighted hair was out of order; the same goes for his clothes. He looked like he did not change his clothes for days; they were wrinkled and dusted. The once black brown eyes looked dark and exhausted; he also looked like a panda with fading dark circles around his eyes. His lips were dry and paler than normal. His porcelain skin showed to be whiter than bones. In truth, he looked thinner than the last time I saw him. He looked so worn-out, I felt very unhappy somehow. Once he was sure he got my full attention, his dry mouth opened up but closed shortly afterward. The words he was going to speak hesitated to voice out. He seemed jumpy as well as if he was afraid. Finally he blurred the words out. “SooYoung, I’m moving.”

“Where?” I asked absentmindedly, shrugging. SungMin always move from one place to another all over Seoul, so this information was not new to me. However, I wondered why is he acting different. Usually he would tell me his next address and the two of us would just talk here, discussing about our life so far after days of separation. He never acted like this before. Ever since we graduated from Seoul University, SungMin traveled from one apartment to another. His parents do not mind at all with his abnormal decision to move out. Even though he lost loads of friends who thought he still lived in a certain area, but he never lose contact with me. He would always tell me where he is, like I was his mother somehow. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, he would call and tell me the news. I felt somewhat glad that I still be able to see him. That he still want me to be his friend. However, deep down, I felt this is going to be different, very different. SungMin shook his head then and walked circles around me while I watched him. He looked so nervous. This made me worried. “SungMin, what is wrong?”

He looked me right in the eyes then. His eyes were still dark but solid and sparkled in a way. Then like a bomb, he just dropped it. “I’m moving to Japan.” His words left me speechless. I almost choke at the idea. My eyes widen as my jaw fell. Is this the reason for his behavior? He is moving away to another country, away from me, miles absent from my side. I asked him for how long and to my disappointment, my voice shook as I uttered the words. His response was not the one I wanted to hear neither. “I’m not coming back.”

“Why? Don’t you like Seoul?” I tried my best not to show my true emotion either on my face or my voice or my eyes but I know I failed in doing so. I could hear my own vocal crack bit by bit. I tried to read his expression but the poker face remained. His features did not even flinched, his body did the same and he resembled a statue then. The wind blew across his face and that made his hair swayed a bit. Mine did too and it interfered with my vision. I could feel the tears accumulating in my eyes but I blinked countless times to drain them away. It was not the time to cry, not yet anyway. Now I wanted answers, why all of a sudden?

“I got a job there,” he paused. It seemed like he is trying to make me understand his decision to move. The words, I sense, carried meanings of their own. They seemed to hold determination. “And I think it’s time for me to settle down.” His voice was still low and robotic. It was hard to hear him as the wind grew stronger and the smell of water filled my nose. My nose felt warm now. It always felt warm when I’m going to cry. I must hold back the emotion.

“But, what about me? You’re leaving me?” I felt my eyes moisten more and more. I used all the strength in me not to act like a disappointed child but it was another failure attempt. My voice broke every time. Truthfully there is no special relation between SungMin and I. We are just friends. However, the thought of losing him terrify me, it made me shuddered. To me, he may be just a friend but deep down in my heart, I do not want to lose him. I felt SungMin’s warm hands on my shoulders then. Still he stared at my eyes. The image of his concern face right in front of me was a blurred due to the tears. His eyes seemed to change again; they looked so dark and sad. They appeared to tell me to calm down. I blinked my eyes to washed out the tears and my voice did not improved at all when I questioned him yet again. “This is the last time I’m going to see you?”

“Yes.” His voice was finally colored with emotion. It was still low and it sounded depress. Reminded me of my own tone but his vocal appeared to be more secured, like he practiced it before. Not fair, he had prepared for this moment. “My flight will departure tomorrow morning, when you are at work.” I could not say a word then but closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip. I let my head hung low as I bit harder. A traitor tear escaped to my burning cheeks, betraying me. His arms embraced me then and his soft whisperings comforted me. I wanted to say ‘don’t go’ but who am I to stop him? I’m just his friend, nothing else. He kept on whispering unfinished sentences to my ear but I was too cheerless to understand any of his words as a new sudden pain engulfed me. “SooYoung, I… You’re… My heart… The one…” His words just kept on coming into my head in a soft tenor voice. I could not think straight; I was too much in pain. I do not want for him to go. I want him to be here, to be with me, always. “SooYoung.” This time it was not a whisper but more of a calling. He paused, waiting for me to answer him. He gently released me from the hug and looked at my eyes again.

“Yes?” I croaked out. I could not breath properly now. My mind focused on inhaling and exhaling. Slowly, I felt his breath on my lips. My chest began to feel the thumping of my heart. His warm breath was so moist against my face. My breathing did not improved as well. Gradually, he moved closer and his breath was so sweet. Seconds later, his lips captured mine and everything seemed so oblivious. His arms around me supporting me, keeping me warm from the cold breeze of the river, the sound of the background fading into silence and for a second, I thought I just heard his heart beating the same rhythm as mine. I had the urge to place my palm on his heart just to confirm the thumping. Everything just felt so clear. At last when he released me, the two of us were breathing heavily and that made us laughed. Our laugh sounded so pleasant as both of our voices harmonized with one another. My tears had no attention to go away and they just kept on multiplying. So my eyes were still damp as I scanned his blurred face. I wanted to remember his face even though he looked so thin and pale. My mouth was shaking, wanting to tell him something. Something or words that was buried deep in my heart. “Don’t go.” I heard myself whispering, my sobbing decreased. I could say my words more clearly. He shook his head as he cupped my face. His breaths were on my lips again. The sweetness and moisture of his breath made me feel faint. However, it was as if I could read his mind then, that, I know he would not be able to stay in Seoul. He was still determined to leave.

That thought made me cried even more.

He walked me to my apartment afterward and official announced his goodbye. I tried to say something but my sobbing stopped me from pronouncing the words. He did stayed for a bit; to make sure I would be all right. After he left, I cried myself to sleep.
…

“SooYoung, please take table thirteen’s order.” TaeYeon’s voice echoed through my head. As if it was pointless, hollow and I should just forget about it. I stood there with a piece of paper and a pen on each hand, thinking about him. I could not even get off from work to see him depart. I feel so useless as a friend. I could not even afford to skip work. I am really a failure being a friend to him despite his efforts to keep contact with me. Unpredictably, I felt a nudge on my left rib. I blinked and TaeYeon’s face came to sight. She looked displeased. “Yah, didn’t you hear me? Table thirteen please.”

“Right.” I answered in an emotionless voice. I myself could hear the mechanical voice in my own head. TaeYeon unnie showed a weird face as she stared at me. Perhaps my face was distance as well, just like my thoughts. I just could not focus and my mind is always on him. The moments we used to just talk on the bridge, memories how his eyes looked so alive and playful, recollections of his laughter, of his smiles, of his stupid jokes and his warm hands comforting me. Most vivid memory was of course, the kiss. I subconsciously touched my lips and remembered how soft his lips against mine. My cheeks suddenly sensed scorching. It felt so right when he kissed me. I never sense anything like that in my life. It was then I realize; it was my first innocent kiss. My heart began pounding again as the reminiscences rushed in. The sound of an aircraft soaring made me jumped. I was not excepting it. The restaurant is just a few blocks away from the International Airport. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall; it was almost ten and I guessed it was SungMin’s flight. I just realized I did not properly say goodbye to him. The thought pierced into me like sharp arrows on fire. It blistered right into my chest, having no intention to burn out but continued to blaze. It hurt so much.

“Girls! Check out the news!” Tiffany exclaimed as she turned the volume up. All nine of us including the customers turned to stare at the screen. I was not exactly excited but my gaze also moved to the monitor. A pretty woman dressed in a black blazer, sat in front of a large wooden desk with papers before her. She had her hair all tied up in a neat bun, perhaps to show off her pearl necklace that protected her thin neck. Despite her young age, I could see her wrinkles and the heavy makeup did not cease the blackness under her eyes. It must be hard to work for television. Behind her, in the background showed an airplane. I suddenly remembered she was the anchor for the ‘News at Ten’. Silence fell as every eyes glued to the television waiting for the woman to speak.

“Just minutes ago, a person had announced he placed a bomb on one of the airplanes. He actually declared his hatred to the government as he threatened the nearby security guards. From our reliable sources the very aircraft is currently flying to Japan.” Her voice was firm and confident but her words meant something else to me.

‘SungMin…’ His name boomed and echoed through my head over and over like his mechanic voice yesterday, playing non-stop like a recorder. I have been trying not to think of his name since I woke up today. I seemed to have placed his name in a small box deep at the back of my head. However it appeared it was a futile effort. I felt so nostalgic by his name repeating again and again like his tape yesterday but it had a different feeling though; instead of feeling worried, I felt pain slowly, teasingly devouring me. The pain in my chest grew stronger. I felt so unaware to my surrounding as I tried to control my breathing. I also tried to regain calmness by advising myself that it could not be SungMin’s plane. However the woman in the monitor announced each of the passengers’ names.

“Jung HeeYun, Park YooIn, Lee SungMin…” My world shattered into pieces as his name was said. My legs were wobbly and I could not support myself. My head felt light and spinning. My breathing worsened. I closed my eyes, placed a hand on the cold white wall for support and focusing on how to breath.

“SooYoung, your phone is vibrating.” HyoYeon pointed out. That made me opened my eyes and saw her worried face. I saw her mouth opened a bit but closed; she wanted to ask something but decided not to. I’m glad she chose not to because I do not know how to reply. The vibrating object in my pocket indicated I received a message. I slowly took it out; my energy was slowly drained by my emotion. As I opened the electronic letter and my eyes widen at the sender. My heartbeat accelerating, palm sweating and my finger shook as I read the name repeatedly.

It was from SungMin.

“I love you SooYoung.” His message was clear and simple. I smiled in happiness but at the same time, my tears formed as soon as I felt the pain enveloped me once more. It was too late for saying such things but I was happy he managed to confess. Others were too absorbed watching the screen displaying the exploded airplane. I too glanced at the television and punch the keypads. I have a feeling I have to reply his message.

“I love you too.” I clicked send and pried. Even though I know he will never read it.



Chapter 2

Review from Crepuscular-tears
Last Message’s Review
June 18, 2009
Title: Last Message
Author: RyeoNa Park
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/PRNmessage
Status: Completed
Reviewer: Sung.ii.ee @ Crepuscular-tears
Note: The reviewer has NOTHING against the author or the characters of this story. This is just an honest review. The harshness of the review is just towards personal improvement of the author.
Title: 4/5
[ I put a lot of accent on the title matching the storyline, and yours does ^^. But it kinda reveals all the plot, making it slightly predictable. ]


Poster/Background: 8/10

[ Pretty nice… I admire the fact that you did them yourself in MS paint. They don’t really match the storyline, though. They say “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, but it’s not my fault that this is a rubric ^^;;. You could have chosen a couple of darker colors, because the storyline is a tragic. ]


Forewords: 4/10

[ You just gave a slight insight of the plot. You could have done more – like showing the main characters’ personalities. ]


Plot: 9/15

[ Not THAT original as I expected, but nice, nonetheless. A bit cliché as well, but nowadays, every story has at least a tiny bit of cliché-ness, don’t you think? :p ]


Creativity/Originality: 6/10

[ As I told. It isn’t that original. The guy moves to another city / country and eventually he dies. I didn’t really get if Sungmin died or not. Was he on the plane when it exploded? If he wasn’t, then you could write some more and add suspense. Sooyoung thinks he died, but he would eventually show up :p. Or that’s what I think xD.]


Flow: 10/10

[ Nothing to comment here. The flow was just perfect. I couldn’t wish for more. ]


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10

[ You didn’t have many errors and your vocabulary was nice. But you need to work on your tenses. For example, in the past tense, you wrote:


“it made me trembled “ è “it made me tremble”

“it made me withdrew” è “it made me withdraw” ]


Characterization: 4/10

[ What kind of characters are Sungmin and Sooyoung? You should have described them at least a bit, even if it’s a one-shot. At least slightly. ]


Writing Style:10 /10

[ There isn’t much dialogue, and you balanced it with description and detail. Thumbs up! ]


Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

[ At least if it was something fresh. As I said in the Creativity / Originality part in this review, you could add some more and make it a two-shot. I guarantee that you’d let your readers with their jaws to the floor ]


Bonus: 5/5

[ Because I ADORE your writing style. ]


Total: 72/100


[ Hope this review wasn’t too harsh. We all need to improve! ^^ Please continue writing! ]

RyeoNa: Thanks for the tips!

Chapter 3

Review from Lost Shadows
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Last Message by RyeoNa Park

Story Title : Last Message
URL : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/PRNmessage/
Author : RyeoNa Park
Reviewed by : SueWey @ Lost Shadows
Title: 3/5
Your title’s simple yet it relates to your story very well but I had to deduct marks because it wasn’t THAT catchy enough to actually grab my attention. I’m sure that there’s a more catchy title plus even though it suits your story very well, but it has already reveal a lot about your story, making it predictable.

Poster/Background: 7/10
Give a round of applause for yourself for making both the poster and background for yourself. I salute authors who could make these for their own story ( even though I, myself requests for these myself. Bleh! ). I would give you full marks but I have to stay my job as a reviewer.
Your selection for the pictures were perfect, it did show that the story’s going to be depressing but your choice of colors didn’t really reflect your story. Try using some dark or dull colors to help reflect your story since it’s not one of those happy endings. And if possible, change the color of your font to another dark color other than black. Because I have difficulty reading ( or maybe I just need specs lol! ) some parts of your story where the background had dark colors.

Forewords: 2/5
I noticed that there were two forewords… and… I didn’t know if I should review both or what ( lolwtf! ). So, I settled down to review your first one ( ^^v ).
Your foreword is tremendously short, truthfully. You could have maybe put a short introduction or a short paragraph extracted from the story ( but of course, without revealing too much of your plot ) instead of this way. Not that there’s anything wrong with your forewords now but I’m sure it could have been better. I still gave you marks cause at least you put something up.

Plot: 12/15
It was short and simple yet it was enjoyable. I loved how you describe your settings and SooYoung’s perspective though I would love to see more about both Sungmin and SooYoung. Sadly, I sort of already knew how your story would go from just seeing your title.

Flow: 10/10
I’ve nothing to say here, really. It was all going perfectly well for a one-short. Give another round of applause to yourself.

Spelling/Grammer/Vocabulary: 9/10
And again, another round of applause for yourself cause I did not spot any spelling mistakes in the story. Not everyone can avoid that, ya know ( *wags eyebrows* ). Vocabulary was above average ( *nods* ).
But, I do spot some gammar mistakes, no worries, they’re not major mistakes. But I guess I do not have to write it down again, since I see that Sung.ii.ee already gave out the examples for me.

Characterization: 4/10
I believe that you could’ve done way better since you have such lovely vocabulary. Even though I did mentioned that you have describe SooYoung’s perspective quite well but I still do not know much about her other than that she loved Sungmin dearly. Same goes to Sungmin. All I know is that he wasn’t his usual self which is what(?) other than his cheerful self. Even though that this is just a one shot but I would still want to see who they are. Not just she loves him and he loves her, the end.

Orginality: 7/10
Even though I did say that your story’s enjoyable to read but that’s because it’s the way how you wrote it out that made it look like it was original. But truthfully and sadly, I’ve seen plots like this a couple of times.

Writing style: 5/5
I simply love your writing style. It was neat, understandable and detailed. Nice.

Overall enjoyment: 6/10
I gotta admit that I enjoyed reading your story cause of your writing style. Yet, I didn’t give you full marks was because I already knew how your storyline would turn out like so it wasn’t that much fun or like a surprise ( roflwtf! Teehee ).

Overall score: 65/100

Yo. I’m sorry for taking a super duper long time to review your one shot! *blush blush* I felt so ashamed~~ I was busy with my school life and all that I didn’t really have the time to go online and check on my inbox for requests~ *bows down apologectically*. Anyway, I hope that you’re satisfied with my review and please don’t get discourage by the marks given to you. Afterall, they’re just numbers! It’s the comments that will help you improve, right right? Teehee ^^v
Posted by ShadowYin at 03:01

Chapter 4

Review by Mystery Cious
[REVIEW] LAST MESSAGE
By mysterycious
Name : RyeoNa Park
Email :white_panther196@hotmail.com
Story Title: Last message
Fanfic URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/PRNmessage
Reviewer : candycane @ Mystery-Cious
Title: 4/5
It totally suited your story!!! But maybe you should get a more attention grabbing title…cause the title wasn’t very catchy.

Poster/Background: 9/10
I really like your poster. It brings out the emotion you are expressing through your character. I find your background really sweet and suits the poster really well.

Forewords: 6/10
You should have describe more on your main character and if possible more on the plot, but since its a one- shot I guess its ok. I think the few sentences you wrote was really good and interesting. It made me very excited to read your story. Good Job!!!

Plot: 11/15
It was quite predictable from your title. You had did a great job describing the scences and I think your plot was good. Next time, you should focus more on your characters, because the plot is important for a good story and so are the characters you are trying to describe.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10
I find your story very unique. I have never read a story so touching. I was close to tears reading your fanfic. Great work!!

Flow: 10/10
I’m really impressed with you. Your story really blew me away. It was all connected, excellent!!!

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
Your grammar was great overall. Eventhough there were a few mistakes here and there, but every writer has their mistakes..anyways I’m surprised and impressed!!!

Characterisation: 5/10
You should have describe your characters more. The female lead was ok, but I didn’t quite get the male character you were trying to express. I know you can be better, and I hope you will have some improvement on this section.

Writing Style: 10/10
I really like the way you write and describe your story. The vocabulary was very good and it brings out more of your story. I hope youll continue your great work.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

Bonus: 5/5

Total: 81/100
Yay!!! You did a really wonderful job on your story. All you need to focus more on is your characterisation. You should describe your character in more depth and I know you can do it!!!! Good Luck in your future stories!!!


Last message; Part Two

Forewords

When you are about to die…

… What is going on in your head?

In mine…

There is only her.

I need to tell her…

… How much I love her.

Yet,

No matter what…

… Words cannot convey my feelings.

I want to… I need to…

… To truly tell her…

… She is The One…

And I know one way how to do it.

‘Last message; Part Two’ is an original story under RyeoNa Park.

Casting SungMin Lee of Super Junior and SooYoung Choi of Girls’ Generation.

Copyright © RyeoNa Park 2009


SungMin’s perspective

‘Dear SungMin,
How’s life in Seoul? Still ‘traveling’ from one apartment to another? I hope not. You’re not that young anymore, you know. My advice is always the same when it comes to you. ‘Settle down, find a job, get married and build a family.’ I’m serious this time SungMin. I think you have enough fun. Like I said, you are kind of old now .If you are attracted in working, I have already got you a job here in Japan. My friend, -you remembered KangIn- he owns a couple of restaurants. And he is looking for a manager. You took on a course on ‘Managing and Business’ right? YuRi reminded me. You can’t fool me now. She said that you got the top marks on the National Examinations. And I hope your Japanese is not too rusty. I recalled in Seoul High School, we took Japanese languages together. You were so childish back then. Trying to get in every class I studied. We used to be undividable all right. Anyway, this is a great opportunity. It won’t come again in the near future. You seriously must take this job. That way, we can be inseparable again. Like we used to be when we were kids. I miss my best friend. You can set up home here with me. I can negotiate with the Landlady. Besides, YuRi made friends here in Tokyo and there is one girl she thought you might like. Her name is SunKyu. Yes, she’s Korean. She is also very nice, sweet and polite. I forgot to mention, she is really adorable too. I’ve met her and I couldn’t wait for you two to meet. She’s your type right? Girls who are shorter than you, full of cuteness, kind and pretty are your interest. I remember you saying those when you were sleeping. Or was it when you were drunk? Anyway, I bet you’ll like her. I think that is all. Remember my words SungMin. You are no longer a teen. It’s time to think about your future. Bye, keep in touch.
Love,
Eeteuk.’

I reread Eeteuk’s e-mail again and again. Laughing at his forgetfulness, thank goodness he have YuRi to remind him all the time. Still, his terms, logic and thinking never fail to leave a mark in my head. I have memorized every word in it. Yet, I felt somewhat angry with him. In my mind, he could never change me. I love moving from one place to another. Instead of seeing the same dull thing every morning, I see something unique every time. I adore the feeling of something new. It made me wake up and starts to search for another. Almost like a fresh start. I do not want to lose that feeling. Every time I felt it, I’m more alive somehow. However, it was nice to know Eeteuk was worried about me. Still, he had a point. That job would not come easily, especially one of KangIn’s restaurants. I have never worked as a high position before. I’m currently functioning as a delivery guy in a Chinese restaurant, a waiter in an American café and as a cashier in an Internet snack bar. I learned a lot from my managers, HanKyung, KiBum and SiWon. They constantly give me points and tips. Perhaps I should take that occupation. I am qualified to work. And I know my skills and current experience would take me further. Japan sound like a good country. A whole new start there seemed to make me motivated. I wonder how I felt once I stepped out from the plane, knowing I can be anyone I like, a complete fresh beginning. And SunKyu sounded nice. Eeteuk really knows my characteristic of a perfect girlfriend. And she is Korean.

Except, what would SooYoung feel about this?

Other than Eeteuk, she’s my other best friend since freshman in Seoul University. At that time, Eeteuk left for Japan to further his studies (That is why he took the Japanese class). SooYoung and I are always together. Even I always lose contact with my other friends, but SooYoung is constantly there. It is mostly because I could not ever let her go. She was always the first person I called to announce my new home. Let it be midnight or dawn I could always expect her to answer my call. She’s everything I could ever ask for. Yes, I adore her more than just as a friend.

I’ve fallen for her.

SunKyu does sound nice but SooYoung is the only one I admire. I glanced at my watch and shocked to see the time. It was dawn. My fingers rushed through my black hair. This is the second night in the row I did not sleep. I just cannot rest. Things have been more hectic lately. Bills kept flooding my personal space at the post office. EunHyuk –my friend- works there and I asked him if he could make a special box for my mails since I never stayed in one place for a week. Most of them came from previous apartments of water and electricity that I used for a short time. Landlords or ladies kept begging me to stay at their rented apartment. Saying if I just stay for a few weeks, I would grow to like it. Still, I rejected it all. However they just continued to be resistant and I have to buy a new mobile phone line. Eeteuk’s e-mail was the worst of all. I need time to think and peace is quiet good. That is why I rented this new –well new to me- wooden white house. When I first saw it, it was a beauty with its simple flowered garden, an abandon tarnished playground and the bright blue sky as a background. I just had to move in. It’s a bit far from busy noisy Seoul but the air is fresh and everyone looks at me like I’m an alien. Maybe it was because of my appearance. I bet I look horrible. I have not changed clothes for days, not even combing or looking at a mirror. I even slept in these clothes. Changing boxers and brushing my teeth is what I only do now. It was seemed pointless as I ran away. I looked around at the place. It was vast, probably because it was empty and dark. My eyes searched for my bag. That blue bag is the only item I needed. It had all of my clothes, personal belongings and money plus just about everything. This was what I always carried. I picked up my wallet and gazed at it. Pictures of SooYoung dominate most of the space. A smile managed to fill my face as I reminisce. These images dated back to the old days we first met. And I know I had laid eyes on an angel.

Without much warning, my phone rang. The tone was like an explosive in the hushed room. In fact, I jumped up in surprise. Who on earth would call in this hour? Well, except for me. “Hello?” I answered in my most husky voice. Pretending I just woke up.

“SungMin-ah! I tried calling you all $#*^ing night! Apparently your last @#%$y roommate had brought a @%#&^ lady over and gave a lame $%^# excuse of not hearing the %$^# phone--”

“EunHyuk, shut up!” I yelled. He always cursed whenever he is sleepy. After my constantly shouting over the phone managed to calm him, I asked him why he called me.

“Your box is #%&$ing full. If my #%@y boss finds out, I bet your @#*% that I’m so #*&% fired.” How did I cope with a friend like him? In fact, how on earth did I make friends with him? Oh, now I remembered. He was a dancing machine and I worship him back then. I asked him to be patience. And promise I’ll clear the box tomorrow morning then immediately hang up. I do not need all of these now. My brain felt like it’s going to explode. What am I doing? I’m torturing myself. My fingers once again brushed my hair. Do I want to go or not?

No, I want to escape.

That was unexpected, yet, a part of me wanted to take that job. Still, what about SooYoung? SunKyu would replace her, my mind stated. No. No one, absolutely nobody could substitute SooYoung. That is it. I let SooYoung decide. SooYoung is my most trusted friend. I could not do things properly without her. She was the clever party that would mind everything I do. And I love her for that. Yes, she would decide if I go to Japan or not. I returned my eye to the glowing screen and typed. After a few words, my fingers stopped. I cannot just be straightforward like that. She would be confused. I have to break it to her gently. Without much thinking, I recorded my voice. Yet, I hesitated. What on earth am I doing? I replayed again and again why I did this. After the thirteenth record, I hit send.

“Just come to the bridge SooYoung.” It was now roughly eight in the morning; I glanced to check the time. I carefully chose my words and tone, not wanting to make her worried. Still, I know I failed. I’m still trembling of anxiety. I have to go to the meeting place now; it would be a far distance to travel, now that I’m here.

I did not remember grabbing my bag. I also cannot recall I slammed the wooden door close. I did not remember taking the bus to arrive as well. All I know was that I’m here. Where the two of us spent most of our time together. Listening about update of each other and the soft flowing river beneath us. The wind was rather freezing today. I only had one jacket and a couple of shirts inside. I wrapped myself with my only clothes and looked around. SooYoung was late, as usual. I sighed and managed to smile. Nonetheless, it faded as I remember my initial attention. I might as well sort things out in my head. What am I going to say? What tone should I use? What would I do whenever her facial expressions change? What if she cried?

“SungMin?” I turned to see her radiant face. Gosh, she was beaming like a goddess with her small pale face. Her cheeks were soft pink; maybe the weather was too cold for her. The frosty wind playfully danced with her long curled brown hair. It covered half of her smile. She was dressed like the colored of her cheeks, complete with a very warm jacket. Without warning, the beam vanished. It was then I realized; she was smiling alone. I felt guilty. I always do when that happens. My face would not even show any apology. At times like these, I wonder why SooYoung had not let me go. Even if she rejected me as a friend, I would constantly stalk her. Right, Japan.

“SooYoung, glad you came.” I adjusted my voice as earlier. I think that was the best tone for now. I could feel her eyes scanning me, taking every details of me as I too, stared back at her. Her cheeks were redder as her nose now. It was far contrast from her usual pale features. She rarely wore makeup, unlike other girls around her, but I all care about is her smile. And somehow, I know this would be the last time I see that smile genuinely. Her grins in pictures were never the same as real life. My final watch was her eyes. Those big brown eyes, to my surprise, appeared upset. Does she know why I asked her here? My heart beats faster as my mind race trying to solve her gloom. I thought of how I look and how she looked. Her neat black jacket that stopped above her knee and the light blue jeans protected the rest of her legs from the cold, her pale pink t-shirt over the jacket, then me. I was wearing a brown wrinkle baggy jacket with matching trousers, under my jacket was just t-shirts. It was very contrast, curious as well. Right, Japan. I slightly open my mouth to speak but my tongue could not form any words, therefore I shut my mouth. Ergh! I felt so frustrated! I have to do this. Without much thinking, my mouth spit out the following words: “SooYoung, I’m moving.”

“Where?” She asked, shrugging. Her voice does not sound surprise. In fact, it just sounded normal, chat-like. I guessed she thought I was moving to somewhere within Seoul. No, no, I have to keep her mind on one path. She always jumped to conclusions. Her mind was always active, even in sleep. Once, we went on this camping trip, we escaped from our tents and lay down on the soft grass, just staring at the sky. At least, I was, somehow SooYoung managed to fall asleep and sang. I had to resist from laughing out loud. Her mind is one of a kind. Right, Japan. I kept forgetting about it. Even so, I am not going to run away. But, but, but, I have so much energy inside me all jumble up. Eeteuk’s letter cause me to feel angry; confusion from landlords and lady; my letters full at the Post Office resulted in EunHyuk yelling at me to pick them out; going to Japan can be my new start, the feeling of being free and escape form my current life. I began to realize I was walking in circles around SooYoung. Her eyes were on me all the time. Her expression seemed more trouble. “SungMin, what is wrong?”

I paused, shock I was acting like a child. Okay, focus. Here goes my love life: “I’m moving to Japan.” Time seemed to stop, literally. I could no longer feel the cold wind gently stroked my expose skin, the sound of the water underneath, people passing by, cars zooming past. Only her and I exist now. Her eyes widen while her jaw dropped. I was prepared for that shock expression, part of me was relieved she did not cry on the spot. Yet, I know, she would, soon.

“How… how long w-- will you b…be there?” She stuttered, her eyes were wide as ever. I hesitate at first. And I know she was not trembling because of the cold. “I’m not coming back.” To my horror, my voice, my own voice betrayed me. I did not meant to sound do mean.

“Why? Don’t you like Seoul?” SooYoung’s eyes seemed to get redder as each word escaped her soft pink lips. Her eyes scanned me once more, frantically this time. Almost as if she does not want to believe what was happening. Then I saw a faint glittered in her eyes. My angel was crying. It literary broke my head. And I know she wanted explanations.

“I got a job there,” I hesitated. I wanted each word to sink in her mind for a moment. Despite being smart, SooYoung is a tad… lagging at times. And I want her know, that I was letting her decide if I should move. I really wish she would say no. I took another deep breath and spoke once more, “and I think it’s time for me to settle down.” My voice betrayed me once more. It sounded low and robotic; I wanted to be confidant yet calm. The breeze was picking up, it must be hard for her to listen. Her cute button nose was redder than ever. She was about to cry.
“But, what about me? You’re leaving me?” Her voice cracked. Her eyes moisten more and more. I noticed in her gestures and expressions, she used all the strength in her not to act like a disappointed child. My sweet little angel, please don’t cry. I wanted to hug her so much. I want to comfort her, to reassure her that everything is going to be all right. Yet I am only her best friend, nothing more nothing less. However, the thought of losing her terrify me, it made me shuddered. Afterwords, I gave in. I could not stand it anymore. I touched her shoulder despite all of the fluffy feathers of her pink jacket. I stared at her brown glittering eyes. The image of her miserable face right in front of me was making my heart ached. I did this to her. I made my own angel sad. I do not know what she saw on my face but it seemed to make her calm down, she looked as if she tried to understand. She blinked her eyes and the tears seemed to vanished. Yet her voice still sounded as if she was breaking down. She stills proceeded with her question. “This is the last time I’m going to see you?”

“Yes.” How long would my voice stopped betraying me? This time, it sounded concern to my ears. I thought I have prepared and practiced over and over for this moment. Then again, how can I lie to my angel? “My flight will departure tomorrow morning, when you are at work.” She was so silence then, it scared me. Her head then hung so low, I could not see her expression. A tear, one crystal like tear dropped down and down, maybe it was the sun or maybe even my mind but as I stared at the crystal, it made rainbows of its own. Something so beautiful came to this moment. Impulsively, I reached out for her, hoping I could actually possess her. I embraced her tight, not wanting to let her go. Her sweet hair scent filed my nose, I ruffled my face at them, its so soft and velvet like. At this moment, I must take my chance. When else is a good time to ask her this? It was now or never. Slowly, I whispered: “SooYoung, I want you to come with me. You’re very dear to me. My heart knows as well. The one I love from the very beginning is always you.” My chest thumped rapidly. Yet, my worst nightmare began: she does not respond. A very sharp pain came to my heart, almost like arrows made it through my heart and remain there. I panicked, basically. I thought I just ruined my relationship with SooYoung. I called her name repetitively, I have to have her attention once again.“SooYoung.” My voice rose to a more secure tone. I have to fix this. She then looked at my eyes with her sweet brown honey eyes. SooYoung does not feel the same as I do, this proved it. I smiled stupidly to myself, for thinking of such thoughts. I was never good enough for her anyway. Yet something, at the back of mind kept saying, it was worth confessing. And it was right, now I know, I do not have to bother her about my feelings. SunKyu, might just replace her. Then I still have one more wish.

“Yes?” She croaked out. I could she was in a panic mode. I have to calm her down first. Her little breaths in and out amused me, she is always like this no matter what. She would not change.

Then, I would wait for you, Choi SooYoung.

Slowly, I lower my head, to level her. SooYoung's cheeks were flushed, at least she was not crying as hard as before. Now I could feel her short breaths against my lips. Her sweet honey scent seemed to be a lot stronger. It cleared my mind. Seconds later, I closed my eyes and engulfed her lips with mine. Now the honey scent suffocated me, it was too much. Yet I was in bliss, as if I was in heaven. It made me to want to have her, not ever letting her go. I hold her tight, as if she would vanish if I did not hold on. At last when I released her, the two of us were breathing heavily and that made us laughed. Our laugh sounded so pleasant as both of our voices harmonized with one another. I love it when this happened. It was as if we were one, as if she was a part if me. Her tears had no attention to go away and they just kept on multiplying. Yet we kept on staring at each other. I wanted to remember her at this moment, it may be the last time. I want to remember everything about her. Her mouth was shaking, like she want to tell me something. I shook my head, still amused by her. I need to move on, with her here, I felt like I could never move forward. I will wait for her though, until she was ready. Just to confirm her that, I kissed her again. Once again her sweet honey scent devoured me. It felt stronger now. Was it another sign? She cried again though. It was a very clear sign. I must leave, I do not want her to cry every again, at least I do not want to hurt her. I walked her to her apartment, stayed as long as I could.

And finally, with a numb body; I bid her farewell.
…

“Flight to Japan will depart in thirty minutes, please ensure all of your belongings are with you at all time,” a very cheerful young lady advices all of people in the plane over the intercom. I was in my seat, looking through the window. The airport was huge and y side was the wall of mirrors. SooYoung was not here, she did not came I sighed, forced myself to smile,to accept the truth. I did not know, my heart was silently hoping she would come, stopping me. Is this the right thing to do though ? Eeteuk's email, EunHyuk's calls then there was SunKyu, could she really...? Somewhere, just somewhere a voice, finally told me the truth. Quickly, I took out my phone and began to text.

“Sending invalid,” flashed a picture on my phone, damn there was no signal. I know what to do now. I know I need to do it. Without much thinking,

I ran.

Copyright © Park RyeoNa 2009